10 Tell-Tale Signs You Need To Get A New Orphan House

If you’re like most people, you probably only think about orphanages when watching holiday movies like “A Christmas Story” or “The Polar Express.” However, orphanages are a reality for many children throughout the world. And just like with any other type of home, sometimes orphanages need to be replaced or remodeled. Here are 10 tell-tale signs that your orphanage may need some TLC.

1. Your Orphanage Has The Same Name As That Of A Well-Known Brewery

Does your orphanage have a name like, “Spreckles Malt House” or “Harshmallow’s Fondue Hut”? If so, you should consider changing it to something more fitting, like “The Orange Troll Den.”

2. Your Orphanage Has A “No Pets” Rule But You Keep Four Horse-Sized Ducks In The Front Yard

If you find yourself perplexed by people’s reactions when they see your four horse-sized ducks in the front yard, it may be time to re-evaluate your orphanage. Perhaps keeping animals like horses and bears is not the best idea for an orphanage.

3. Your Orphanage Has A Massive Wine Cellar That’s Already Been Emptied By The Local Townspeople

Keeping children in an environment that encourages drinking is a big no-no! If you find your wine cellar has been emptied by local townspeople, it’s time to either remodel or close your orphanage for good.

4. Your Orphanage Is Named After A Corporation

If your orphanage is named after a corporation, it’s time to change it. Children should not be living in an environment that promotes commercialism.

5. You Recently Purchased A Top-Of-The-Line Swimming Pool But The Children Are Afraid To Get In

A swimming pool is a great addition to any orphanage, but only if the children are actually willing to get in it. If your children are too afraid to swim, it may be time to find a new place for them to live.

6. You’re No Longer Able To Serve Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

It’s important that your orphanage has regular, nutritious meals. If you’re unable to serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner anymore, it may be time to close down your orphanage for good.

7. Your Orphanage Stops Production Of “Apple Pie” After Midnight

If your orphanage stops production of “apple pie” after midnight, it’s a clear sign that something is wrong. You should either close your orphanage or remodel it immediately.

8. The Local Children’s Services Are Planning To Shut Down Your Orphanage

If the local children’s services are planning to shut down your orphanage, it’s time to take some serious action. Remodel or move your orphanage before it’s too late!

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9. Your Orphanage Has Been Raided By Authorities For Being A Cult Under The Control Of An Evil Overlord

If your orphanage has been raided by authorities for being a cult under the control of an evil overlord, it’s time to rethink your strategy. It may be time to remodel or close your orphanage for good.

10. You’ve Decided To Remove The Roof Of Your Orphanage So You Can Live Among The Stars With “The Little People”

If you’ve decided to remove the roof of your orphanage and live among the stars with “the little people,” it’s definitely time to close your orphanage for good. There are no children living in an environment like that!

Closing an orphanage is never an easy decision, but sometimes it’s necessary. If you’re experiencing any of the above signs, it may be time to get a new orphan house. Good luck!

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